Megan Stammers – How old is 15 really?

The pair holding hands as they board the ferry to Calais. This was where the couple were last spotted.

Megan Stammers: school knew of concerns over teacher friendship | Society | The Guardian.

How old is 15 really? – Youth and Justice Blog

I’m actually slighted weirded out by this story. This all happened around the time I finished reading Lolita. How dark…

I don’t really know what to feel anymore about these sorts of relationships. I mean, I was 14 when I was dating a 19 year old Uni student. That’s considered illegal yet it’s completely fine legally if a 60 year old man dates a 16 year old girl.

This leads me to question: “How old is 15 really?”

I remember a sketch that Dave Chappelle did, I think, a few years back about it. His main point was that its easy to point the finger and demand life imprisonment if a 15 year old accidentally kills somebody but when a 15 year old goes missing, like Megan Stammers and she decides to hop on a ferry to France with her Maths teacher, everybody will assume that it was the teachers fault and that she was too young to be making these kinds of decisions…etc.etc

I’m not condoning their behaviour. But you do stupid things when you’re in love. The police are making appeals to the couple by saying things like: “We want to ensure that both Megan and her tutor, Jeremy Forrest are granted safe passage back to the UK”. Would you come back to the UK if you were Jeremy Forrest only to be incarcerated for rape and child abuse? Would you call that safe passage? If you were Megan, would you want the man that you love enough to run away with be put in jail? To be honest, she seems like a smart girl. If she knew enough to keep this completely secret from her parents, then she is definitely capable of making the decision of running away with her teacher.

However, he is a married man. But married men all around the world have been cheating on their wives for centuries with prostitutes and they pay even younger girls for sex. There are also plenty of men and women in the world who have more than 15 years between them age wise. I know someone who met her boyfriend when she was 15 and he was 28. Still together and they’ve just had a baby. When I saw the photo of the two holding hands as they were on the ferry to Calais, I couldn’t help but think that there really is a relationship there. Who are we to judge?

I’m not saying that it was a clever idea eloping to France. Actually, it was really really stupid. I mean, couldn’t he have waited a year until she was legal? Like I said. I don’t really know what to think. I feel sorry for Megan because she’s going to be in SO MUCH SHIT when she gets home. Slightly less sympathetic for Jeremy Forrest, only really for cheating on his wife. He probably shouldn’t have pursued a relationship with a student. He could have waited a year. He could have divorced his wife first. He could have done it properly if he really loved her and envisioned a future for him and Megan.

Instead, he’s gone and turned the entire country against him. The public are screaming “pedophile” and all he had to do was be a little patient and tactful. It was selfish, it was unfair on Megan’s parents, the relationship probably can’t continue if they ever return to the UK…He messed up. Big time. In regards to Megan, well, I wanted to do as much as possible to piss of my parents when I was 15. I didn’t care who I hurt. I only cared about myself. And the more my parents or other adults, hell even my friends, argued with me, the more I didn’t care.

What do you guys think? Tricky subject, eh? As far as I’m concerned, this is just a lovestruck teenage girl and a man’s lapse in judgement. It seems amazing that so much focus has been put on this story especially when she isn’t really in any danger.

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4 thoughts on “Megan Stammers – How old is 15 really?

    • Of course, all of your points are valid. Though, I tend to think that some situations like this aren’t clearly in black and white. It seems odd because the papers don’t seem to be painting a picture of this man to be a disgusting pervy pedophile. I don’t think we can break this story down into binary until we find out more.

      I do agree that they were really stupid. Jeremy Forrest definitely knew better and went ahead despite knowing the cost of his decisions. I feel no sympathy for him. But nor do I feel any sympathy for her.

      Btw. I love your blog! I read it all the time ☺

      • I can’t say I know anything about the man personally – just going by the letter of the law here: sex with anyone under 16 is illegal and teachers also have a legal “in loco parentis” duty (i.e. it’s inappropriate to run off with one of your pupils!)
        So it all depends on whether or not he had sex with her…as you say, it will get clearer when we know more.

      • Absolutely. Those laws are completely necessary to protect children. A parent has every right to send their child to school and to not expect teachers to behave like that. My point really was to say that no two children of 15 have the same level of maturity, self-confidence or intelligence. It isn’t something that is too easy to judge. Either way, whether Megan Stammers seduced the man or not, it is ultimately the responsibility of the teacher to not let anything develop. He deserves to go to jail. But they were both fools. I don’t believe for a second that both of them weren’t aware of the consequences.

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