Life lessons through Video Games – Introduction

Hello readers! Wow. I have 20 likes and over 270 views on my blog already! Thanks guys. I’m really happy you like my stuff! Anyway, I am aware that my entries have been lacking focus and direction. I was kind of testing the waters and wasn’t 100% sure what I wanted to mainly write about. I was afraid it was becoming a big mish-mash of unrelated topics. I’ve been thinking about it for a few weeks now and I want to share my experiences of playing, watching and making Video Games.

I probably hadn’t mentioned in my previous blog posts that I am currently helping my boyfriend and my house mate make a Video Game. I’m not allowed to tell you much about it at all. Such is the nature of the Game industry that most of these projects are made in semi-secrecy. I will reveal more as I get clearance from the PR team (I’m joking. I am the PR team).

Well, as I’ve probably mentioned before, I’m South Korean. I always joke that Starcraft is our national sport and yes, I have indulged far, FAR too many hours on it. It is so addictive and I might be guilty of crushing a few people with my blood-thirsty Zergling swarm. I love Starcraft.

Yes. I’m a game head. But I can’t really help it! I live with some of the biggest freaking gamers in the universe! One is my other half and the other is one of our best friends.

I wasn’t really into games until I met my boyfriend 5 years ago. I guess I used to watch some of my exes tap away mindlessly at an Xbox controller playing Halo 3 and Call of Duty but seriously, *snore*. So boring. I can’t stand Triple A, Call of Duty copy titles that are disgustingly popular right now. The only real fad I dabbled in was Starcraft which I played for about a year and Pokemon. I completed Blue but never really bothered with the Pokemon cards, though I owned a few, and I hadn’t purchased any other games. To this day I only know the first 150 Pokemon. [confession – nowadays, I can recite those 150 Pokemon in order to about 25 places or thereabouts. Which is good considering I didn’t make it a project to memorise them. Plus the original 150 were the BEST.]

Enter: Ben (Stage left). My boyfriend is the wonderful wonderful man who introduced me to the world of Grim Fandango, Monkey Island, Sam & Max…etc to name a few. It is something that we are truly passionate about which is why I’m a little ashamed now that I used to think that Video games were the pursuit of sad, lonely individual girls and guys.

The discovery of my inner geek was a completely liberating experience. I think many girlfriends and girl-friends go through this process when they start hanging out with people who are into this. I really don’t mean geek in a derogatory sense. I fucking love it. I would roll around in anime and Pokemon and obscure board games all day every day if I could. When you start getting to know someone who is into Video Games, you have a choice. You can reject it completely and never show an interest in it or you can choose to embrace it and make it a part of who you are. For me, it isn’t just a casual past time anymore, it’s become a large part of my life and my relationship is better for it.

I am a terrible player though. I really really am. Truly awful. I am hopeless at platforming. I’m more of a hindrance than help in any kind of 1st person shooter. Let’s just say I’m more a spectator. I can really only play Real time strategy, Turn based strategy and Role playing games. Anything with stat grinding and level crunching and collecting cool weapons and catching little animals in Pokeballs. I might not have an impressive gamer points score and I might not actually be the one playing but I still feel 100% involved. How can you not be when you’re jumping up and down, cheering your friend on as he breaks his last time trial record?

I guess I just love Video Games because I believe it is the ultimate art-form (as cheesy as that sounds). I truly believe that. The games industry have produced some of the most beautiful artwork, music, characters…etc that I’ve ever seen. I find that with conventional art, music, film, books…etc that there is a certain aloofness (is that a word?). You can only really involve yourself in them in a 2 dimensional way. Games are a combination of all creative art forms. Not only that but you can completely interact with the world that has been created through the labours of HUGELY talented programmers, level designers, concept artists, story writers, animators, illustrators, musicians…etc. I could go on and on.

I’m not entirely sure what this blog series will become. I don’t intend to review or rate games. I’d actually have to be a decent player to do that. I’m sure it’ll become clear as I write a few more entries. Last but not least, I’d like to thank anyone who has taken the time to read my blog and I hope you find the following articles entertaining and informative.

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Getting caught on the toilet with your trousers down

So. REALLY embarrassing moment today. A customer burst into the toilet while I was having a piss at work. Thought I’d locked the door. Evidently not.

I don’t really know what’s been going on recently. I just seem to be a whirlwind of destruction or something. I just can’t seem to get the most basic things right! And I’ve made a tit of myself, all week so far. Pretty much every day.

Like yesterday, I got to work and was ready for the day ahead. What do I do next? Run into the loo and vomit everywhere?! What is wrong with me? I mean, to be fair, I wasn’t feeling brilliant anyway but I’ve certainly never vomited at work (Actually that’s a lie. A few years ago, I was violently ill after the staff Christmas party and was NOT fit for work the next day).

Anyway, my point is, I’m SO embarrassed. There’s not really much else I can do except take it on the chin and take the ribbing that I’ll most likely receive from my colleagues. It’s going to be BRUTAL.

Divorcing your best friend

I’m writing this now because it’s definitely less painful now than it was then but there have been 2 instances in my life where this has happened and I can remember them so clearly in my mind.

I was speaking to one of my friends the other day about a recent dilemma that had come up regarding this and he laughed at me and said that I was talking about my friendship and break up with these girls like we had been in a relationship. Of course, that is 100% not true no matter how hard he wished it was but there are more than some comparisons that can be made.

Friendships between best friends is one of trust, mutual respect and honesty. When that sort of friendship ends, it’s really really intense (well for me it was anyway). In some ways, it was worse than breaking up with most of my boyfriends because I don’t believe that you share the same kind of connection with them. I know I didn’t. Your best friend knows every little detail, every irrational fear, every dirty secret…when it all came to blows, I became very aware of the fact that these girls knew absolutely everything.

The worst thing about it was the fact that I know exactly what those girls would say about me when bitching to other mates of theirs because I’ve heard them bitch about people to me. So now I know exactly what they’ve been telling complete strangers.

Unfortunately, I am one of those people who are very self conscious and aware of what others think. I’m sure there are some of you out there who could just brush this off without a second thought but I’m a little obsessive compulsive. I like to analyse things and have an awful habit of playing moments back over and over in my head, making it seem a lot bigger and scarier than it really is. I got so worked up over the smallest little comment.. I grieved for weeks but now I’ve accepted it and I’ve moved on.

To be honest, I don’t really care what happened anymore because it was just so fucking long ago. I’m at peace with it all. I don’t regret a thing. I don’t really want more drama in my life. I hate fighting and being pissed off. I’m sick and tired of feeling miserable all the time just because ONE person isn’t talking to me anymore. Of course I’m still upset by what happened (who wouldn’t?) but I don’t wish that things were different. I think I knew from the beginning that things would come to a head.

Has anyone else had a similar kind of experience with a close friend? I’d like to hear about how you felt and coped? Am I being really weird about this?

I’m listening to TOO MUCH Lana Del Rey at the moment

I don’t know why I’ve been listening to her album every day but I just have. I am a singer myself so I absolutely 100% know that she is very very average. But there is a certain quality to her voice that just sounds amazingly sultry and sexy on record.

Last night, I tried to watch her perform live and it just wasn’t happening. She was all over the place. Actually, she wasn’t that bad but she was just ever so slightly flat or sharp all the way through the set and for some reason I found it hard to listen to.

I think I’m definitely more in love with the quality of the production than I am impressed by her ability. I don’t think that she’s an amazing singer but I think she’s an amazing story teller. The songs all just seem so right together and the tone of her voice has a certain sadness to it. I couldn’t get “Video Games” out of my head for weeks.

It’s really weird. I don’t “want” to like her music. To be honest, after everyone has been speculating about her plastic surgery, I can’t look at her face and deny that it looks a bit alien. There are also stories about a rich father. I don’t think it’s right (or fair) that she was able to get a second chance like that. Well…I guess that’s just me being jealous that I’m not a famous rock star like I had hoped to be when I was 15.

I’m more in love with the idea of Lana Del Rey. If she existed in real life, I would elope with her and she can serenade me all day long.