I’ve been really shit with writing recently. But now that Uni work is over, I’m ready to spill some of what’s been going on in my brain onto my blog. I’m sure you didn’t miss me too much but if you did, I’m sowwy!! >.<
As a girly girl, I spend a lot of my time at home reading beauty blogs. I feel that it’s narcissistic that I am constantly obsessing over my looks but I think inside of every girl, there is some insecurity about their appearance. I always got jealous of the girls with HUGE double eyelids that can paint rainbow colours all over their eyes. For us mono-lidders, that’s simply not possible. Plus, clothes never seem to fit right because I am COMPLETELY flat chested AND 4ft 11″ so having to constantly wear padded bras and higher heels make me feel inadequate somehow.
I’m lucky that I have a boyfriend who really does love me for the crazy Asian that I am. But even he gets frustrated at my obsession with looking better. Because that’s all I want. I just want to look better than I am. I’m constantly asking him if I look like I’ve lost weight…etc.etc. He must want to punch me sometimes…teheehee!
In every culture, there is social pressure to look a certain way. Which is why I was annoyed when I came across some blogs that were more than negative about Asians and double eyelids.
I don’t know what it was like growing up as a white kid, in a white family, in a predominantly white neighbourhood. But I do know what it was like growing up with constant bullying and teasing about my “ching chong” eyes. To this day, I still get people yelling things in the street when I’m minding my own business.
I’m not saying I have scars from this because I’m sure others have had worse experiences. But of course, it made me very aware that I look very different to everyone; especially my eyes. I remember wishing when I was a teenager that I could just look like everyone else. But as a grew older, I came to appreciate that I did stand out a little. I discovered make up, double eyelid tape, circle lenses, push up bras and high heels. lol. They all help make me feel and look better.
This is why, it is really irritating when I read a typical “expat” or “tourist travel” blog and they’re saying all sorts of stuff like: “Koreans make their babies have plastic surgery”, “Asians want to look like white people which is why they dye their hair and get eyelid surgery”, “Why do Asian girls wear circle lenses when they don’t need them?”…etc.
I think that’s insulting. I don’t want to look like a white person. Even if I did get eyelid surgery or wore double eye lid tape, I wouldn’t look any less Korean. Same as if I dyed my hair. It’s no different to all these girls getting boob jobs and vaginoplasty and all sorts of ridiculous things in the west as well. I feel these blogs are written by really short sighted people who can’t accept other cultures.
No-one NEEDS make up, or nice clothes or shoes. But it’s up to the individual how they wish to express themselves and many women do that through what they choose to wear, or how they apply their make up and indeed through the decision to have permanent surgery.
My point is, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. As long as you feel good, it doesn’t matter what anyone says. Use eyelid tape, use circle lenses if it makes you feel good. Oh, and please troll those Expat blogs if you get a chance because they’re idiots.