Jay’s Ramblings: Modern Romance, apparently

Well, the title is a little dramatic but I’d like to observe this point for just a moment because I’d like to see if anyone else can relate to what I am about to describe.

As I’m sure you all know, I’m currently living with my long term boyfriend of 7 years and we’ve been crazily in love and inseparable from the moment we met each other as teenagers. It’s become so odd recently because we’ve almost merged into one giant homogenous blob that do absolutely everything together. It has gotten so bad, he’s even started to channel my thoughts by saying things that I’d been casually thinking of at that moment. I’m not joking! But of course, it’s due to the fact that we’ve spent so long together that we’re like magnets. I move – he moves. I think – coffee, he puts on the kettle on for me (doesn’t work all the time unfortunately).

All I’ve ever wanted for my close friends and family is for them to be happy which includes the hope that they find a partner that respects and loves them at least as much as I do. However, it seems that in reality, the pursuit of happiness in love is almost an impossible dream for many young people these days and as I get a little bit older and start to tolerate things less and less, I’ve started to notice how different things have become since I left the game 7 years ago.

My single friends are upset that the guys that they’ve been seeing and dating recently don’t really seem to want to commit to a monogamous relationship and the Number 1 reason why they break up – cheating and dishonesty. Dating websites and apps like Tinder have made it so easy to hook up with people you match with, it’s as easy as ordering a pizza. There are a lot of people out there willing to meet strangers for sex and it happens all the time.

It’s not that I disapprove of casual sex and dating websites. I’m all for sexual freedom and…well…freedom in general for everyone. But I don’t think it’s fair to manipulate someone or to betray someone and it is just something that I would never do intentionally and I find it hard to understand serial cheaters and people that try and trick you on purpose.

From my personal experience, honesty and trust is the most important thing to keeping a relationship going. But people, these days, don’t want to be honest and trustworthy; it’s cooler to be with as many hot young things you can find in the club. Considering that marriages are becoming less and less common among our young urban elite, this isn’t surprising.

I would also argue that people expect too much of a person in a relationship. Too many Hollywood movies depict picture-perfect situations; a fairy tale marriage to a handsome billionaire. I think it has totally warped some people’s view of what a relationship should be and now, girls especially, are confused about what sort of guy that they want to do date. They want the guy with the muscles, but they also want the guy who is really intelligent. They want the thug, but they also want the guy in a suit. Realistically, nobody is going to tick every single one of your boxes so it’s unfair to expect so many contradictory things.

On the flip side, everyone has the right to be as choosy as they need to be in their choice of partner. If you’re not bothered with sleeping around then it’s obviously appropriate to not be so choosy. But if you are looking for something a little more serious, the most important piece of advice I can give is SELF RESTRAINT. If you meet someone for the first time, and you think you might want to see them again. DON’T sleep with them straight away. You should NEVER trust anyone that you don’t know very well and if there is a chemistry between the two of you, I promise you that you will notice it.

I guess what this meandering, aimless post is trying to say is:

Guys and Girls, Please try and understand what it’s like to be the “other” person in your relationship. Imagine for one moment what it might feel like to be the person on the receiving end of your actions. We are all human and deserved to be treated with respect and honesty. I’m sure that’s all most of us need to be happy in a relationship. For those still looking, don’t give up hope, there are so many amazing people in the world hidden amongst all the selfish pricks that only want to take from you. The latter have caused so much pain to my friends that one is so heartbroken that she’s leaving the country. To the people that were directly responsible for that, they will never know how many people have been affected by what they did but I’m losing a good friend because too many people treat dating like a sport. I will never forgive them for that.

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3 thoughts on “Jay’s Ramblings: Modern Romance, apparently

  1. I stopped using tinder a few weeks ago… too many douches for my liking lol. My coworker showed me cliqie.com and I’m a big fan of that over the others in terms of actually meeting people vs. just entertainment. It has a different approach that feels less sketchy cause you and your friends essentially act as “wingmen”. I like that it helps you find things to do too. Skout’s okay too, but still has it’s fair share of creepers

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