Kaley Cuoco on why she’s NOT a feminist in interview

Kaley Cuoco on why she’s NOT a feminist in interview with Redbook magazine | Daily Mail Online.

There are a lot of reasons why I am disturbed and a little disappointed about this article. First of all, I’m pissed off that everyone is talking about it in the first place.

As a feminist, I am pro choice and an equalist. I believe that any human, male or female or LGBT individuals, are as valuable as each other and I do accept that there are physiological differences that make individuals predisposed to pursuing specific roles in society and indeed, in the home. I would argue though, this has more to do with personality and upbringing than it has to do with whatever pair of chromosomes you happen to have.

I can only draw from personal experience but I’m sure there are plenty of articles that would reinforce the points that I’m trying to make.

The article that I have provided links to, promotes a post-feminist message of: “It’s ok, to want to stay at home and provide for your man”. It is exactly the attitude of so many young women and teenagers that have clearly benefited from the work of feminists that have brought about legal and social changes that allow women to have jobs and vote but the individuals themselves have no drive to push forward anymore and are now comfortable.

Some women, like Kaley Cuoco, are incredibly fortunate. She has the option to stay at home and look after their husband. She also has the option to go out and pursue an income and seeing as she’s currently earning millions from appearing on the Big Bang Theory, she doesn’t need to really do anything if she doesn’t want to.

I would argue, if an individual is not a famous TV star, and chooses to stay at home and look after their partner without earning their own wages, they choose to hand over the control to the other party. In any relationship, if the power balance is too far in favour of one person, the other can easily be taken advantage of. In other words, you are effectively trapped.

On the flip side, I feel sorry for men. Not only is there social pressure for them to provide for their family, it is more socially acceptable for women to completely take advantage of this. Except that men don’t have the option of being the home maker since there is inadequate paternity care support. If a woman chooses to completely ruin a life, there is no social stigma even if she took everything.

This is decidedly unfair but some women are going back to an almost victorian way of thinking and rejecting the freedom that they have been offered because it’s too frightening. It’s easier to give-up and hand over the responsibility to the man who will provide everything for them.

But open your eyes! Men are feeling more and more inadequate as women gain strength and with the current living cost and property crisis, only the very rich and fortunate can afford to not work and stay at home with their families. Men are no longer earning enough by themselves to support a family. It isn’t fair, if your man isn’t earning huge amounts of money, if you demand that he looks after you while you sit at home painting your nails. There are plenty of women out there that have kids that work part-time or full-time alongside their partner in order to support their household.

In conclusion, this sort of “post-feminism” is bull shit and shouldn’t really be making headlines. Celebrity lifestyles are NOT something that ordinary people should try and emulate because it is simply not realistic. Kaley Cuoco should have known that the red top newspapers will just grab the “I’m not a feminist” slogan and run with it.

At this moment in time, women in the western world are “more equal” than men. We choose when to have babies, we choose our own husbands, we choose our own path in life…etc. It’s a shame that so many young people would rather sacrifice their own opportunities just to coast through life by leeching off someone else and not using their own brains to get ahead in life.


Jay’s Ramblings: So…I’m now engaged!

I’m not the kind of girl that swoons over first kiss or proposal stories. Honestly, I’ve never understood why people really fantasise about it when the reality probably won’t match up to the expectation. I understand why people get excited about getting engaged and getting married and stuff but for me, it certainly was not the holy grail.

But it’s happened! I am now officially off the market and have a ring to prove it. I didn’t want one that was the same as everyone else’s so my amazing fiance helped me look on Etsy for a vintage jeweller. I will get a unique ring if it kills me dammit! I fell in love with this 1930s Art Deco set from New York because of the distinctive illusion rose setting and also just because I love the avant garde jazz era art style. Really pleased with how it looks in real life too!

As a practical person, I’ve always wanted to get an Engagement ring and wedding ring set so that they both matched. Click on the banner below to have a look at all the other cool stuff she has for sale!

I don’t believe that women should get all of the fun so I’m going to buy my future hubs his engagement / wedding ring in the next few weeks. I’ll make him wear it every day even though we’re not married yet to ward off other jealous women.

I don’t care that things weren’t “typically” romantic. I hate that shit. All I know is that I can’t wait to get really really old with my best friend in the world. That’s all that matters to me.

Jay’s Ramblings: Modern Romance, apparently

Well, the title is a little dramatic but I’d like to observe this point for just a moment because I’d like to see if anyone else can relate to what I am about to describe.

As I’m sure you all know, I’m currently living with my long term boyfriend of 7 years and we’ve been crazily in love and inseparable from the moment we met each other as teenagers. It’s become so odd recently because we’ve almost merged into one giant homogenous blob that do absolutely everything together. It has gotten so bad, he’s even started to channel my thoughts by saying things that I’d been casually thinking of at that moment. I’m not joking! But of course, it’s due to the fact that we’ve spent so long together that we’re like magnets. I move – he moves. I think – coffee, he puts on the kettle on for me (doesn’t work all the time unfortunately).

All I’ve ever wanted for my close friends and family is for them to be happy which includes the hope that they find a partner that respects and loves them at least as much as I do. However, it seems that in reality, the pursuit of happiness in love is almost an impossible dream for many young people these days and as I get a little bit older and start to tolerate things less and less, I’ve started to notice how different things have become since I left the game 7 years ago.

My single friends are upset that the guys that they’ve been seeing and dating recently don’t really seem to want to commit to a monogamous relationship and the Number 1 reason why they break up – cheating and dishonesty. Dating websites and apps like Tinder have made it so easy to hook up with people you match with, it’s as easy as ordering a pizza. There are a lot of people out there willing to meet strangers for sex and it happens all the time.

It’s not that I disapprove of casual sex and dating websites. I’m all for sexual freedom and…well…freedom in general for everyone. But I don’t think it’s fair to manipulate someone or to betray someone and it is just something that I would never do intentionally and I find it hard to understand serial cheaters and people that try and trick you on purpose.

From my personal experience, honesty and trust is the most important thing to keeping a relationship going. But people, these days, don’t want to be honest and trustworthy; it’s cooler to be with as many hot young things you can find in the club. Considering that marriages are becoming less and less common among our young urban elite, this isn’t surprising.

I would also argue that people expect too much of a person in a relationship. Too many Hollywood movies depict picture-perfect situations; a fairy tale marriage to a handsome billionaire. I think it has totally warped some people’s view of what a relationship should be and now, girls especially, are confused about what sort of guy that they want to do date. They want the guy with the muscles, but they also want the guy who is really intelligent. They want the thug, but they also want the guy in a suit. Realistically, nobody is going to tick every single one of your boxes so it’s unfair to expect so many contradictory things.

On the flip side, everyone has the right to be as choosy as they need to be in their choice of partner. If you’re not bothered with sleeping around then it’s obviously appropriate to not be so choosy. But if you are looking for something a little more serious, the most important piece of advice I can give is SELF RESTRAINT. If you meet someone for the first time, and you think you might want to see them again. DON’T sleep with them straight away. You should NEVER trust anyone that you don’t know very well and if there is a chemistry between the two of you, I promise you that you will notice it.

I guess what this meandering, aimless post is trying to say is:

Guys and Girls, Please try and understand what it’s like to be the “other” person in your relationship. Imagine for one moment what it might feel like to be the person on the receiving end of your actions. We are all human and deserved to be treated with respect and honesty. I’m sure that’s all most of us need to be happy in a relationship. For those still looking, don’t give up hope, there are so many amazing people in the world hidden amongst all the selfish pricks that only want to take from you. The latter have caused so much pain to my friends that one is so heartbroken that she’s leaving the country. To the people that were directly responsible for that, they will never know how many people have been affected by what they did but I’m losing a good friend because too many people treat dating like a sport. I will never forgive them for that.

Divorcing your best friend

I’m writing this now because it’s definitely less painful now than it was then but there have been 2 instances in my life where this has happened and I can remember them so clearly in my mind.

I was speaking to one of my friends the other day about a recent dilemma that had come up regarding this and he laughed at me and said that I was talking about my friendship and break up with these girls like we had been in a relationship. Of course, that is 100% not true no matter how hard he wished it was but there are more than some comparisons that can be made.

Friendships between best friends is one of trust, mutual respect and honesty. When that sort of friendship ends, it’s really really intense (well for me it was anyway). In some ways, it was worse than breaking up with most of my boyfriends because I don’t believe that you share the same kind of connection with them. I know I didn’t. Your best friend knows every little detail, every irrational fear, every dirty secret…when it all came to blows, I became very aware of the fact that these girls knew absolutely everything.

The worst thing about it was the fact that I know exactly what those girls would say about me when bitching to other mates of theirs because I’ve heard them bitch about people to me. So now I know exactly what they’ve been telling complete strangers.

Unfortunately, I am one of those people who are very self conscious and aware of what others think. I’m sure there are some of you out there who could just brush this off without a second thought but I’m a little obsessive compulsive. I like to analyse things and have an awful habit of playing moments back over and over in my head, making it seem a lot bigger and scarier than it really is. I got so worked up over the smallest little comment.. I grieved for weeks but now I’ve accepted it and I’ve moved on.

To be honest, I don’t really care what happened anymore because it was just so fucking long ago. I’m at peace with it all. I don’t regret a thing. I don’t really want more drama in my life. I hate fighting and being pissed off. I’m sick and tired of feeling miserable all the time just because ONE person isn’t talking to me anymore. Of course I’m still upset by what happened (who wouldn’t?) but I don’t wish that things were different. I think I knew from the beginning that things would come to a head.

Has anyone else had a similar kind of experience with a close friend? I’d like to hear about how you felt and coped? Am I being really weird about this?

Megan Stammers – How old is 15 really?

The pair holding hands as they board the ferry to Calais. This was where the couple were last spotted.

Megan Stammers: school knew of concerns over teacher friendship | Society | The Guardian.

How old is 15 really? – Youth and Justice Blog

I’m actually slighted weirded out by this story. This all happened around the time I finished reading Lolita. How dark…

I don’t really know what to feel anymore about these sorts of relationships. I mean, I was 14 when I was dating a 19 year old Uni student. That’s considered illegal yet it’s completely fine legally if a 60 year old man dates a 16 year old girl.

This leads me to question: “How old is 15 really?”

I remember a sketch that Dave Chappelle did, I think, a few years back about it. His main point was that its easy to point the finger and demand life imprisonment if a 15 year old accidentally kills somebody but when a 15 year old goes missing, like Megan Stammers and she decides to hop on a ferry to France with her Maths teacher, everybody will assume that it was the teachers fault and that she was too young to be making these kinds of decisions…etc.etc

I’m not condoning their behaviour. But you do stupid things when you’re in love. The police are making appeals to the couple by saying things like: “We want to ensure that both Megan and her tutor, Jeremy Forrest are granted safe passage back to the UK”. Would you come back to the UK if you were Jeremy Forrest only to be incarcerated for rape and child abuse? Would you call that safe passage? If you were Megan, would you want the man that you love enough to run away with be put in jail? To be honest, she seems like a smart girl. If she knew enough to keep this completely secret from her parents, then she is definitely capable of making the decision of running away with her teacher.

However, he is a married man. But married men all around the world have been cheating on their wives for centuries with prostitutes and they pay even younger girls for sex. There are also plenty of men and women in the world who have more than 15 years between them age wise. I know someone who met her boyfriend when she was 15 and he was 28. Still together and they’ve just had a baby. When I saw the photo of the two holding hands as they were on the ferry to Calais, I couldn’t help but think that there really is a relationship there. Who are we to judge?

I’m not saying that it was a clever idea eloping to France. Actually, it was really really stupid. I mean, couldn’t he have waited a year until she was legal? Like I said. I don’t really know what to think. I feel sorry for Megan because she’s going to be in SO MUCH SHIT when she gets home. Slightly less sympathetic for Jeremy Forrest, only really for cheating on his wife. He probably shouldn’t have pursued a relationship with a student. He could have waited a year. He could have divorced his wife first. He could have done it properly if he really loved her and envisioned a future for him and Megan.

Instead, he’s gone and turned the entire country against him. The public are screaming “pedophile” and all he had to do was be a little patient and tactful. It was selfish, it was unfair on Megan’s parents, the relationship probably can’t continue if they ever return to the UK…He messed up. Big time. In regards to Megan, well, I wanted to do as much as possible to piss of my parents when I was 15. I didn’t care who I hurt. I only cared about myself. And the more my parents or other adults, hell even my friends, argued with me, the more I didn’t care.

What do you guys think? Tricky subject, eh? As far as I’m concerned, this is just a lovestruck teenage girl and a man’s lapse in judgement. It seems amazing that so much focus has been put on this story especially when she isn’t really in any danger.